A Year Ago Today...

It was one year ago today that a routine sonogram (at 27 weeks pregnant) discovered an enlarged ventricle in Brantley's brain.  I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I remember what I was wearing.  I remember the sadness in our doctor's voice.  I remember her words, "Everything looks great, buuuuut..."  I remember sitting on our deck in the warmth of the spring sun sobbing to my mom on the phone, yet remaining very hopeful.  I remember being scared, worried, and most of all, wondering "Why me...why us...why this sweet baby boy?"

If someone would have told me that a year later, we'd have a perfectly healthy, rambunctious, little boy, I wouldn't have believed it.  That was my wildest dream.  My biggest wish.  More than anything, I wanted a healthy baby.  And now I have that.  And so much more. 

I'd be lying if I said I remember the pain every single minute of every single day.  I'll be honest.  I don't always think about the hardships we went through.  I do think I'm more appreciative of Brantley's health than other parents may be, but I still sometimes take it for granted.

Today serves as an important reminder for me.  A reminder that I am truly lucky to live the life I do.  A reminder of how grateful I am for everything I have.  And most of all, a reminder that God is so good.

“To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us - and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him.  Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.” ―Thomas Merton

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