The Waiting Game

 
On Friday, I woke up more pregnant than I have ever been. 39 weeks and 5 days.  Yesterday marked exactly 40 weeks.  And that's using my most recent due date that was two days later than what I had been thinking all along.  Today?  Well today, I am overdue. This bun in the oven is done.  Scratch that--he's well done. 

I honestly thought I'd have a baby in my arms a week ago. Surely since baby #2 came early (39 weeks + 3 days), baby #3 would follow suit, right? I was induced with Brantley at 39+4, so it's hard to say what would have happened, but all signs were pointing towards an "on time" baby.

So now that I'm 40+ weeks, I'm having a really hard time accepting it.  I am tired.  I am emotional.  I am done with a capital D.  I have always tried my very best not to complain about being pregnant, you know, for all those women out there who can't get pregnant, but being overdue is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting.  I go to bed each night hopeful that I'll wake to contractions. Instead I wake to a full bladder and acid burning inside my throat.  Multiple times throughout the night, in fact.

Then each morning, I try to face the day with a positive attitude...again thinking "This is it, this is the day"; yet, each night I die a little inside as my head (and pregnant belly) hits the pillow.

Third babies are supposed to come fast, right?  That's what I've been telling myself from the get-go.  And I hate being wrong.  I hate admitting I'm wrong.  Doesn't everyone??  

It doesn't help that friends and family seemed to expect this baby to come early, too.  My mom had a dream, after all, that Baby's birthday would be November 12.  That was over two weeks ago!!

It's actually quite ironic.  I am more pregnant than I ever have been, yet now I'm also expected to take care of two kids at home??  It's basically like a cruel joke.

I may have broken down and cried on Friday night.  I couldn't help it.  My patience was extremely thin and it didn't help that a friend whose due date was a good two weeks after mine had her baby earlier in that day.  Emotionally, I've been okay since shedding those tears on Friday night, but that doesn't mean I feel any more patient on the inside.

(And shout out to my hubs, who missed part of the KU basketball game to put the kids to bed since I was so emotionally drained!!  If you know Craig and his love of the Jayhawks, you know this is huge.  He couldn't pause it because it wasn't on t.v...he was streaming from the web.)

I'm a planner.  I really wanted a mid-November baby.  And then when that didn't happen, I wanted him to come before the 22nd so he would never have to share his birthday with Thanksgiving.  And then when that didn't happen, I thought Friday the 25th sounded just fine. Our other kids were born on Fridays of holiday weekends so it would be the perfect coincidence, right?!  

Now, I just want a baby before December.  Though my faith in that is diminishing by the day.

I wanted to hold off on Christmas decorations until after newborn photos.  (I finally caved anyway.)  I haven't purchased a single Christmas gift yet because, in my mind, a baby would come well before I needed to think about all-things-Christmas.  Our laundry has been done and trash taken out multiple times in hopes of leaving a clean house for the hospital and I have re-painted my nails on three different occasions thinking "Yep, this is what color they'll be in the hospital."  My hospital bag has been packed for, literally, weeks and the car seat?  Well, every time we go somewhere, it's a nice reminder that I'm. still. pregnant.

Deep down, I know there is nothing I can do except wait.  No matter my "plans", Baby will come when he's good and ready, and having two early babies has absolutely no impact on the birth of this third one.  So here we sit, waiting.  Wishing and hoping, yet waiting. 

And as my mom most recently reminded me, no matter my plans, my wants, and my visions, God is truly the one in control.



I hope to update you all with baby news very soon!



17 comments:

  1. Hang in there sweet friend. He will be here soon even though it seems like forever. Sending positive thoughts your way.

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  2. Oh girl!! I'm so sorry. I literally know that depressing feeling of waking up and being like "yep, still pregnant!" You're officially in the state where nothing else matters. Enjoy a day at home with no kids--- I know it's hard to be on maternity leave with no baby (yep- did that too!), but just sit on your butt and take a few nap!!!

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  3. Praying for you sweet friend! I can't even imagine how worn out you must be! xoxo

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  4. Oh friend, I'm so sorry. I only have one and he came early so I don't know how that feels except I can imagine that it's very frustrating. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason though and maybe he's just not ready yet? I know that doesn't help.
    Thinking of you and been wanting to text you to see how you're feeling but don't want to overwhelm you with more "is he here yet?" type of things. Just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping he comes super soon! Can't wait to meet him! xo

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  5. Hang in there hon! I went overdue both times so I know all too well what you're feeling. I hope this little guy decides this is the week! Send the kids to daycare and take some time to yourself!

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  6. Awww, pretty lady, hang in there. You'll be holding that beautiful baby boy before you know it (that was a lot of "B's" right there - ha!). I know that you are just miserable & you just wanna meet him but he's just being a lil stinkpot for you already. Many hugs sent your way.

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  7. First of all, you look great!!! But, the waiting game really does suck and it totally messes with your mind. My first daughter was born in June and she was niiiine days late. It was torture. Hang in there! And in the mean time, just use it as an excuse to treat yourself as much as possible! ;)

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  8. Good luck with everything, hope you get there soon!

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  9. Girl - I can SO relate! Both my girls were late and both had to be induced - even after I was deadset on waiting for Avalon (they made me do an induction bc of low fluid, one week late). It's the craziest feeling ever! But I did just remind myself that no mom stayed pregnant forever!!!!!!!!!! ;) And you won't be the first! ;) Hang in there, can't wait to hear the good news!

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  10. Hey mama, you look great. I was a week early {plan was to induce, but water broke on its own at the hospital} with Cash & 40 weeks & 1 day with Wyatt {induced}. These last couple of weeks are long & tiring, but hang in just a little bit longer. You're almost there & that sweet little love is thisclose to being in your arms. Hugs to you!

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  11. Hang in there, friend. (So easy for me to say, right??) Before you know it this post will be nothing but a distant memory, and that sweet baby will be here safe and healthy. And being overdue will be but a thing of the past. Sending prayers that #3 decides that today is it!

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  12. Hang in there! You are looking fabulous. He will come when he is ready, they are stubborn those third kids!

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  13. i want hoping to come on here after the holiday weekend and see baby number 3's little face.. hang in there cause one day you will miss this!

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  14. Im so sorry- being done with pregnancy is such a head trip. Praying for you friend!! When he finally arrives everything will come into place and how joyous will that be!!!

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  15. I'm sure you are so so frustrated, but this baby will come in perfect timing! You'll never get these two with just two back, try to enjoy!

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  16. Thinking of you! The third trimester is always the hardest, and I remember those feelings all too well of just wanting that baby OUT! I hope and pray he comes soon!!

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  17. I am sure it's tough waiting it all out but God has the perfect plan for your newest little man. Hold tight to that knowledge and know that you can't be pregnant forever.

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